My phat Jokes.

Dear Loves,
at one time I struggled with being morbidly over weight. For a woman of 5"10" I was at my highest 375 lbs. Over a 2 year period I got down to 140lbs by changing my diet, lack of exercise, and my life style. This is how I made fun of myself and encouraged me to stop being phat.

My Fat Jokes...

I was so fat, that when I bathed, it was in a 8 person hot tub ...

I was so fat, that had I died, I was afraid the fire would not burn out for years to come ...

I was so fat, that I tried the Jenny Crack Diet, to lose the weight ...

I was so fat, that a soap company paid for my lipo - suction, then made a Billion Dollars on the fat for soap in the next year ...

I was so fat, that I spent more money on food in a day than on my rent, cable, heat, light,internet, phone, clothing, shoes, and car combined together, for a month ...

I was so fat, that when I had my house built, it had 72 inch door - ways, and hall - ways, so at least I had 2 inches on either side of me to walk through ...

I was so fat, that I had International Lock - Block design my furniture ...

I was so fat, that I only bought a king size water-bed frame, head board, platform, sheets, pillows, duvet,and cover, because I filled it up it were the mattress goes...

I was so fat, that when I went into hospital, I had to use the freight elevator to get to my room, and forklifted around the hospital for my tests ...

I was so fat, that when I took scuba diving, it cost 10 wet-suits stitched together, and 3 anvils for weights. I quit diving though, when a Native harpooned me during a whale hunt ...

I was so fat, that when I went on vacation, I traveled in the cargo hold...

I was so fat, that if I ordered out for chinese, pizza, or whatever, they would deliver it in a 5 ton U - haul truck. If I had company they would add a car ...

I was so fat, that I put so many all you can eat restraunts out of business ...

I was so fat, that my neighbours took out earthquake insurance when I first moved in my home ...

I was so fat, I bought my cloths at a tent shop ...

I was so fat, that it took a day for a fart to make it past the thickness of fat, beyond the anus ...

I was so fat, that I was mistaken as a albino elephant by Ringling - Brothers ...

I was so fat, that when I went sky diving, the people of the province of BC, thought I was a solar eclipse...